hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
