Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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