The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
