u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize