Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
