Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
