come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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