apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
