Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
