my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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