I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
