is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
