you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
