So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
