We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
