Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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