My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize