So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize