Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
