Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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