I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
