She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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