...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize