I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
