What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
