Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
