Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize