Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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