i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
