hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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