somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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