We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
