Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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