marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
