Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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