Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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