I'm drive I can fine osifer
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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