i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg šš
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Iām gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a ābrilliantā idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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