i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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