Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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