I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
