i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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