her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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