Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
