Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize