summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
