I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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