i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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