I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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