Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
