I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
