OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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