At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
