Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
