I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
