His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
