Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize