i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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