bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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