Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
