If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
