your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
